So this story begins years ago, when I felt God leading me to follow Him...to the Amazon jungle. Through two different books, the Lord planted a seed and vision for ministering to people along the Amazon River. The first, a simple little Christian novel, Not Exactly Eden by Linda Windsor, depicts a young woman's journey of faith as she reconnects with her estranged father who is a missionary along the Amazon. The second is the inspiring, heartfelt biography/autobiography Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliot, a woman whose story I could not begin to retell. This book is definitely a "must read" for every believer! Her faith and clearly evident, sweet relationship with her Savior challenge me to seek Him more, to know Him more, to love Him with my all!
I believe it was about the same time I was reading Through Gates of Splendor that I went with The Revolution College Ministry to do missions with AIM (Adventures in Missions) in Philadelphia, PA. The AIM staff, along with my current church leaders, taught me so much about doing Kingdom work during that one week. It was then that I looked into traveling to the Amazon. AIM offered a two month summer mission trip down the Amazon, ministering to the natives of the River, which I began to consider going on the next summer ('07). Whether my faith was too small or the timing wasn't right, I didn't get to go that summer.
Since then I have been on several mission trips with my church to various locations (mostly in the States but also to Africa). But the desire to go to the Amazon has still lingered on my heart.
So this year I began to seriously explore opportunities to go. Because I'm a teacher and often times, when traveling to another country to do ministry, it is the airfare that is the largest expense (In many foreign countries to cost of living is much less than in America, as they say in Africa - Everybody's got to eat. So the price difference in staying a week versus a month is, in my mind, minimal), I felt encouraged to seek opportunities that involved staying a month or two.
As I began to explore the possibilities, I was discouraged when I found out that I was too old to participate on the AIM trip that I had once hoped to join (that was the first time I had ever been told I was too OLD to do something! haha). Fortunately Crossgates has an AMAZING missions pastor who was able to give me some direction in looking for an organization to work with. I contacted numerous ministries yet didn't feel it was right until I found YWAM Peru.
After much paperwork and countless emails, I was accepted to serve as an intern at YWAM Peru's missions base in Iquitos, Peru. My goal as intern, I think, is to be extremely flexible, as I work alongside the YWAM staff to facilitate ministry as youth groups travel to and from the area. The work they do there is vast including woman's ministry, children's ministry, Discipleship Training School, Pastoral training, and River Village ministry (church planting, construction projects, pastorial training, well-building, medical/dental, Bible distribution, and special children's ministries).
Even though I was accepted a few weeks ago, and ecstatic about it, it wasn't until today that I booked my flight. Despite God's wonderful evidences of His love and power, my flesh is absolutely terrified of following through with this step of faith. Maybe I was questioning God's ultimate plan, like perhaps I would only have to get to this point and he would let me back out since a venture like this is so obviously out of my comfort zone...like Abraham offering Isaac on the altar. Perhaps I was waiting for a ram in the thicket. It's not that I don't want to go. 1) I want to glorify God with every moment of my life by leading others to follow Him and 2) It's not like I hate to travel. However, my family is the most precious thing I have and leaving them (even for a month) is scary. I leave for four days and Joshua's grown a few inches and my Mom is one of my closest friends! Not to mention the fact that, by His design, I am a rather introverted person, so it takes me awhile to warm up to new people. Insert traveling and living across the Equator for a month with a group of complete strangers = awkward potential. So perhaps, offering God my summer and surrendering to go was not the sacrifice he desired, for that came natural. But maybe God wants my security offered up to Him freely and without a single shimmer of hope that it return... after all, when I am humbled and laid empty before Him - then He can fill and eventually my whole being will truly grasp this eternal truth: It's not about you, Brandi, it's all for my glory!
"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." Matthew 10:37-39
Because "obedience is better than sacrifice", I'm choosing to be obedient by taking this LEAP of faith. And if perhaps in the midst of my ramblings, you did not gather, I'm on mission for God in Peru, June 29-July 28! PRAY! =)
Pray:
- soften hearts of the Peruvian/Amazonian peoples (there are hundreds of different people groups living in this region) to receive the Gospel and become disciple of Jesus.
- for provision ($$)
- selfless abandon to his will
- one huge desire of mine for this trip is that God would increase my faith (Matt 9:24), I want His Holy Spirit to be released through me in supernatural ways as to accomplish His purposes!
